Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize