yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize