So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
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I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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