Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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