Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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