i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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