I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize