Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize