i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize