i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
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11/10 would buy him a McLobster
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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