You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize