So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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