There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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