I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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