why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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