I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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