If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize