If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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