We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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