He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize