is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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