so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
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My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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