My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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