i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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