He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
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Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize