I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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