Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You made out with two different species that night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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