So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
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I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
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I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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