after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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