who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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