All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize