upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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