who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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