I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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