thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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