Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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