Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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