Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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