I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize