If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize