I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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