I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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