apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
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Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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