Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize