Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize