Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize