I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
We smell like vodka and hangover
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