After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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