Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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