how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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