oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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