I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize